Quiet Questions

As the pages of my pain pass between us, I learn to see with better understanding. My moving mountains of grief, have weighted me down. My shoulders, your arms filled with agony. They fear reaching out so I softly withdraw my hands from, reaching out to yours but I can hear your whispered cries of confusion. Quiet Questions Which make my heart blind, blind with the anger of my past. My lips remain sealed in silence, I can feel your protective loneliness. And my guardians of doubt that terrorize all my hopes of letting it all go. I can sense the awesome weariness of thoughts entangled by self-contempt. My body is in search of its own acceptance. Yet beyond all of this, Beyond the staggering loss and emptiness which has claimed me as a personal friend. 

I have not forsaken my desire to be healed or to extinguish. I've just made those nagging voices of inner despair be quiet for a few more moments. I have not given up on making peace with my body or rescuing my dignity, Which is buried between layers of borrowed shame. No matter what happens — I will never let humiliation to defeat me. 

Even when my strength seems fragile or my mind walks on the edge of self-destruction, I will always, be strong enough not to allow myself to fall to the knees of my body. And if I could look myself in the mirror; I would reach compassion out to myself. If I could change the interior pain of my heart, and mend the wounds that adorn my soul, I would. I would start by closing my eyes and at the same time allowing myself to breathe. 

Slow all the stress in my life down a notch and from there I would imagine myself resting on a beautiful beach in an atmosphere of peace. Where the sun softly touches and soothes my skin while a gentle breeze nudges against my face. Then brings a fresh supply of love into your mind for where love is allowed to live without fear. And love like an artist with a caring brush — will paint hope on the face of my darkest hours.